What to Say (and Not Say) to Someone Grieving

Losing a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences a person can go through. During this difficult time, offering the right words of comfort can mean a lot. However, many people struggle with what to say to someone who is grieving. While it’s natural to want to provide support, some words can unintentionally cause more harm than good. Whether you are attending a service at funeral homes in Oregon City, OR, or simply offering condolences, it’s important to approach the conversation with sensitivity.

What to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving

1. “I’m Here for You”

One of the best things you can say is simply letting the grieving person know they are not alone. Phrases like “I’m here for you” or “You don’t have to go through this alone” can be incredibly comforting. They reassure the grieving person that they have a support system during this difficult time.

2. “I’m So Sorry for Your Loss”

A simple and heartfelt expression of sympathy is always appropriate. Saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss” acknowledges their pain without trying to minimize it. Sometimes, less is more when offering comfort.

3. “I Remember When…”

Sharing a fond memory of the deceased can bring comfort to the grieving person. It helps them focus on the happy moments and keeps their loved one’s memory alive. If you attended a service at Holman Hankins Bowker & Waud, for example, you might share a special moment from the eulogy or a story that reflects the person’s impact on others.

4. “It’s Okay to Feel However You Feel”

Grief comes in many forms, and everyone processes it differently. Letting them know that their emotions—whether sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief—are valid can help them feel understood and supported.
What Not to Say to Someone Who Is Grieving

1. “I Know How You Feel”

Even if you have experienced loss yourself, no two grief journeys are the same. Saying this can make the grieving person feel like their pain is being dismissed. Instead, focus on being present and listening.

2. “They’re in a Better Place”

While this phrase is often said with good intentions, it may not be comforting to someone in deep grief. The bereaved may not be ready to think about their loved one being gone, even if they had strong spiritual beliefs.

3. “At Least They Lived a Long Life”

No matter how old someone was when they passed, their loss is still painful. Trying to find a silver lining can feel dismissive of the grief they are experiencing.

4. “You Should Be Over It by Now”

Grief has no timeline. Everyone processes loss at their own pace, and there is no “right” amount of time to grieve. Pressuring someone to move on can make them feel guilty or misunderstood.

Providing Comfort Beyond Words

While choosing the right words is important, actions often speak louder. Offering a listening ear, bringing meals, or simply being present can provide immense support. Many people find comfort in memorial services held at funeral homes in Oregon City, OR, where they can gather with loved ones to celebrate the life of the deceased.
If you’re unsure of what to say, just being there can make all the difference. Holman Hankins Bowker & Waud and other funeral service providers understand the importance of compassion and support in times of grief. By offering kindness and patience, you can help a grieving person feel less alone.